It's a Bittersweet Symphony...

 Mostly I think of your facein certain lights you look like my man. I’m not one to cry, but you make me crywhen you tell me that love is not a real feeling. The door is openthe cat walked out. You are sitting at your deskwatching the pornography you say you hate. Is that a real feeling?The feeling these fake lovers give you? I can barely breathewhen I look at your arms and your neck. Hold me until this picture fadesand we are old and full of death. I once sent a nude pictureto someone I hardly knew. Now it’s out therestaring at me from the interwebs. Does that make me a whore or a cunt?Don’t use those words, for me. I am just a girl,after all these breasts are real. But not this face I makewhen I meet other faces. This face I make has your face in it.I know the difference in your toothy smile. You only smile when you need somethingyou forgot you put it in someone else’s mind. You put love in here, I try not to waste it,but I stopped giving it away. Where are the wild horsesyou said you could tame? What’s your real name, in this play?What part do you want, will you stay? Can I be you and you be me,Let's pretend this is destiny. We are all trees with colored leaves, giving each otheroxygen, I can only breathe when your mouth is on my mouth. Give me my next breathbe my best friend, by killing me softly. Your song was always the one,it was always your song. Were you singing for me?Or are your large feet ready to climb over meto step on my dreams. Don’t tell me there is such a thingas reality, when I know there is no real you. Sing to me, tell me stories.Write your favorite fantasy on my face. There was a small bar downtownwhere you said they knew your name. Why is it they know you betterthen this person who is playing your game? I can’t win here, can I?Waiting for the phone to ring, I don’t sing anymore. I never made you those chocolate chip cookiesthat you said reminded you of home. Please say somethingeven if you don’t care. I like to play pretendremember you put your hands in my hair and you said: I wish you were someone elseI think of her when I look at you. I’m not pretty enough,to make you look any longer. This picture of us I want to put in a fire.Today I’m on my knees. It is a bittersweet story,these are the days of our death. We are pretending to liveI brush my teeth with your tongue. If that isn’t deathI don’t know any other life that I can borrow. Can I borrow your dreamsand try them on for size? You don’t fit meI am too small to reside in your memory. Remember this: us standing under the streetlightsaying each other’s names as if we know them. Will you remember my face?the birthmark on my cheek the cut of my chinthe way my lips say your name. I will keep this momentit’s mine don’t you dare try to steal it. This was never yours.We were never a we. You didn’t want to own meeven though I gave you the instructions on how to find my heart.Sir your screwdriver missed the whole. The hole in my words will tell youwe are innocent bystanders to these feelings. You never experienced love for me,you only witnessed mine. We need an eyewitness a crime has been committed.The serpent ate my apple. Now I’m on a pedestal as mother mary sings.And eve descends with her wings. I thought I was in the garden of eden with you,But tonight we stand in my basement The floor has never been dirtier.Either have my dreams. It’s three a.m., you are lying on my couch.I’m not dead enough, please kill me again. While you sleep I look out the windowand see nothing but blades of grass If only you could have brought me a daisyfrom the dirt. Now our hands are not cleanthere is blood in this room. I don’t know which one of us is bleedingsince all blood looks the same. So I taste it on my finger.We say we are not vampires. But you took my blood from me.I want it back. Stop using it.It is the only reason you are alive. nina