My Truth
I want to make a few things clear.I don’t meditate cause I’m some saint who loves god. I do it for my sanity. Period. I don’t write because I’m dying to tell the world my every thought. I do it again only for my sanity.If I get enlightened in my pursuit to be sane, that is simply a side effect. I do this to stay alive. I’m not exaggerating.If I write the great Indian American novel, or the great Indian American blog, by accident because I write every day, again it’s purely by accident.Yeah, I got plans. Big plans. I wanna be a bestselling author and be rich and famous. I want to become a Master one day and be one with god. But I want to be sane even more. Fame and fortune alone will not make me happy and it certainly won't make me less crazy. Being enlightened will not happen unless I'm sane.My body has to eat every single day, if I miss a lot of days I could die. My mind needs to write every single day, if I miss too many days, my mind starts to lose the will to live. And if I don’t meditate every single day, my soul gets dark. All the light in it gets covered in dirt.I’m on this page for me, you should know that. If by chance you gain something from all this remember I didn’t do it for you. I’m doing this for me. If you benefit, it is a side effect. A great one. But only a side effect.But also know this. Wrap your head around it for a moment, will you? You and I are one. What I do for myself, I do for you. What I do for you, I do for myself.When god entered my life, I went crazy. Literally. I had to temporarily enter a psychiatric ward in a hospital. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder or what was formerly called Manic Depression.I have this disease. I mean I really truly have it and will have to take medicine for it for the rest of my life.But the god thing, I also have that. The god experience I like to call it. When I first felt the presence of god in myself, my mind and body could not handle it. On earth, as a human, I could not fathom anything that profound.So right away I experienced panic attacks and manic and depressive episodes. The god thing actually made me lose my mind.I want to make it clear, on a human body level, I have a chemical imbalance that can only be treated by medicine. However at a soul level, at the sane or same time or simultaneously I also believe, I’m experiencing the divine.With time, by time I mean decades, I have learned to not only handle it but rejoice in it. I have realized it may be the only real thing about me.I’m here to tell you, you did not come upon this website by accident. I’m here to tell you about the divine nature inside of you. For me, there is nothing more important, no more important work I can do except tell you my truth so you can experience your truth.This didn’t all happen to me by accident by the way. You and me meeting here is no accident. Me and you and god have been planning this encounter for lifetimes, possibly since eternity began. And it never was not. Eternity that is. You and I were never not. Before our life on this planet, we were very alive in other realms and lives. How do I know this?You know this actually, I’m just reminding you. And please don’t mindlessly listen to everything I say. I want you to use your mind and think about if this rings true for you. If it doesn’t it’s ok. It’s not for you.If you think I’m completely wrong about everything, then that is your truth and I hope I helped you find it.I don’t speak the truth, I speak my truth. Everything is relative in this realm of relativity that we live in. The absolute truth is only in the realm of the absolute where god absolutely lives. There there is only truth and everything is right. Here there is right and wrong. Here, it’s all just up to us. Love is the only absolute truth everywhere. And everything in its true essence is love. How do I know this? Because I love you.We made an arrangement to meet here, on this page. Thank you for honoring that commitment you never knew you made. Unless you did know unless you do know.
Remember now, you are listening to a crazy person. I am not only certifiable, I’m certified. Certified insane. Be careful what you believe about what I say. This could all just be my imagination. And if it is, I ask you, what is the difference between my imagination and my truth?I’ll say this loud and clear, medicine is controlling my Bipolar Disorder. Spirituality is curing it. There is a cure for insanity. Meditation. There is a cure for depression, meditation. There is a cure for hate, love. There is a cure for fear. Love.If you are dead inside and want to be dead on the outside, this one’s for you. This is all for you.P. S. You will still need your medication by the way. This is not in any way a promotion to get off your meds. But just know there is something you can add to your medical treatment, not to replace it, but to enhance it.Before you take that handful of pills or before you jump off that bridge or shoot yourself in the head, breathe. There is a way out of this pain that doesn’t include dying. In some religions, they believe if you kill yourself you will just come back in another life with metaphorically the same circumstances and you have to get through them.Try this. Close your eyes. Choose a name of god or goddess. Allah or Yahweh, Jehovah or Waheguru or Ram or Om. I swear to god this works. Who else would I swear to? Just breathe deeply and say the name either out loud or in your head. Repeat it over and over. You might not feel it the first time. Your mind might wander. But keep concentrating on it. You will find peace and eventually bliss. If this doesn’t work there is a money back guarantee. Write me and tell me if this doesn’t work. I bet no one will write me. I dare you to try it.This is Sikhism, it’s Hinduism and Islam. It’s even Christianity and Judaism. The rosary. Buddhism. The only thing it isn’t is Scientology. Oh, I kid the Scientologists!This is national suicide prevention week or month or year or whatever. It’s important. Don’t do that. You know, kill yourself. Do this. Just do it.I know pain. I’ve been in psychiatric wards. I know what it’s like. I speak from experience. I also know joy. I’ve been in love with life. I speak from experience.Finally, I want to say, this is not a better way, but this is my way.You do you.nina