The Good, Bad And The Ugly
You know what I find very interesting about Donald Trump? God made him. Why would god do a crazy thing like that? I mean this is a god that created the notion of crazy, but come on. Or sometimes I wonder if god is just creating like our bones, and we are creating our personalities. That makes more sense to me.
I don’t think that god made me a writer. I think I discovered that I love words and I became a writer. Now god perhaps gave me some intelligence and some skill and some opportunity. I mean I know some people say that talent is a gift from god. But if I do have any talent, do I have any responsibility for it? I don’t know. I mean I read a lot. That may be one of the reasons I can write a lot.
But that’s not the whole story, is it? Who are we and how did we get this way?
Did god make us a certain way? Did we make ourselves a certain way? I used to think personalities were created, but have you ever hung out with people’s kids? Two kids with the same parents will have diametrically opposite personalities, and they are kind of like that from birth.
Who is making the decision as to what personality I have? Is it my genes, my environment? I guess it’s the classic Nature/Nurture question. I guess my question is, what is nature? Are there cells that create what I think about and what I act like and the way I feel?
I know a lot of this is environment but why am I so different than my sister? We had the samish genes and samish environment. I guess there are so many different things that make an individual unique. I just wonder sometimes what those things are.
Another question, is it all random? Did I randomly just become nina or did my soul have a plan on what I would be like? I think that I helped plan this because I just don’t believe in randomness. I am one of those people who thinks that it is not just a random occurrence that you ended up reading this blog. I think there is a reason.
I don’t have any proof that the universe has reasons for putting us in certain places and with certain people, I just believe it to be true. Some people believe in unicorns, I believe in less shiny stuff.
However, I think of god as an observer in all this. He lets us do what we want. And rightfully so, if god was making our decisions for us, then what would be the point of free will?
But let’s go back to Donald Trump for a second. Why is he the way he is? Why are some people jerks? I guess if you have free will one of the choices is to be a jerk. I guess another question is, why do some people choose to be jerks? I mean I could be a bad person, I have made the choice not to do so, but why?
What motivates me to be good? I guess that’s just who I want to be. But why do some people want to be horrible? I don’t think they want to be. I don’t know if they are even aware of how terrible they are. I have this feeling everyone thinks they are a pretty good person. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have.
But is Donald Trump doing the best he can? I mean if that is his best then that is pretty sad. But it is possible that this is all he is capable of. Does that mean he is not to blame for being a total moron? I want to blame him.
But I think the secret to life is allowing people to do be who they are. Even when they are the leader of the free world. I have to accept that this is the way that the president is. I can’t change him, I can try to get him out of office, but I can’t essentially change who he is as a human.
I can only change myself.
I want to be a better and better person. But what is better? What is good anyways? I mean who is to say what is good and what is bad? Are we all just making it all up?
I mean I know for sure that it is bad to say, murder someone in cold blood. I guess that’s just wrong, no matter what you say about it. But there are things that are more questionable. Is it wrong that I don’t spend my time at a soup kitchen when I have so much food on my plate? I don’t know.
Maybe we should all stop judging so much. Like today, I’d rather go shopping than go volunteer for the poor. Does this make me less of a person? I don’t think so, but then maybe it does.
I want to be a good person, but what does that look like, what does that mean? I think to me it means that I live by loving. Loving myself and other people. I think what is good is love.
I think even Donald Trump loves someone besides himself, even if it doesn’t look like it. He is capable of love because he is human. In order for me to be happy, I have to allow for the fact that there are people like him, in places of power.
I have to accept the world and people the way that they are. Good and bad.
You know what I think is interesting, if god created the world, then god is both good and bad, isn’t she? I guess her final state is all good, but she did, in fact, create evil. If we were made in the image of god and we are all not good, perhaps there is a dark side to god.
Is that blasphemous? Maybe. But I think if we saw god the way he really is, we might know him better.
nina
