Ninaland vs. Neverland
I watched the documentary about Michael Jackson molesting two little boys many years ago called Leaving Neverland. It is very disturbing, on so many levels that I’m not sure where to begin. In the back of my mind, I always knew that he was guilty of the charges of molestation. I knew it for many years, probably when I first heard about it.
I used to show his music video, Man in the Mirror, to my students when we talked about visual arguments. That is a beautiful, meaningful song and video. Does that fact that it was created by a monster matter? I am not sure.
I can’t decide what to do with this. Is his art connected to his morality? Is me loving his art connected to my morality? Michael Jackson is dead, but his music never will be. Or will we kill it? Did we kill him, or did he kill himself? Is it even a bad thing anymore that he died, he can no longer hurt any more children. But he can also no longer make amazing music.
So many questions that lead to more questions.
I don’t know what to do with all the feelings I have about this situation. The most striking thing about the documentary was that the two men in the film who were molested as little boys fell in love with Michael, he seduced them. He made them feel what was happening was an expression of love.
This idea happens in many cases of child molestation. Pedophiles make their victims feel as if it is a two-way relationship, as if it was normal. Michael made them feel like they were in a loving relationship. These men developed a deep love for Michael when they were boys.
Sexual abuse is so complex, as Oprah demonstrated when she interviewed the two men in the documentary with an audience of sexual abuse survivors and their supporters. It’s hard for people to understand how these little boys did not think this was abuse when it was going on. They thought it was love.
It makes me wonder what love is. These men still have a deep love for their abuser. Did Michael Jackson really love them? I think in his own way he did. However, the problem with that was that it was abusive and wrong. He was a very sick man. But that does not excuse his behavior. Just because he did not know how to express his love, does not make him less of a criminal.
He knew what he was doing to these boys. He tried to get them to distance themselves from their family, he told them women were evil. He was deliberate. He was not innocent but those boys were,
Another thing that interests me about this story is something that I have not heard anyone talk about thus far. These two men are heterosexual men. They were in love with a man in a homosexual abusive relationship.
What does that say about sexual orientation? Is there even such a thing, if someone can be seduced to the other side? I mean let’s face the fact that Michael Jackson wasn’t one of most masculine men around, he was very feminine in fact. But I think there is an element of irrelevance of sexual orientation when molestation occurs.
It’s kind of like when men have homosexual relationships with other men in jail. The sexual contact in prison is also many times abusive. I find this very intriguing. I’m not sure exactly what to say about it. I remember Kurt Kobain once singing, “Everyone is gay.” That line always stuck with me.
That doesn’t mean I believe that everyone is homosexual, or bisexual, but I think most of us, if not all of us, have the capacity to swing if it put in certain circumstances. This documentary brings up so many different issues about sex, morality, and love.
One of the largest issues it brings up is about celebrity and our obsession with it. The mother’s of these boys were seduced by the celebrity of Michael, he took them on vacations, bought them gifts, etc. He made them all feel special. Who wouldn’t like it if a mega superstar made them feel special? And if he asks you in the middle of that to let your son sleep over, what harm can it do?
Obviously, the downside is that it blinds you to the truth about an individual. The world was seduced by Michael Jackson’s voice, his dance, and his sad, sad story. He was a lonely little boy who just wanted friends. Or so we thought.
In the end, he was just a regular old pedophile with an agenda. He wasn’t much different than any other child molester except that he was a pop music idol. Those boys are now men, and they have been severely traumatized by the abuse. They both have little boys of their own and they worry that someone might do something like this to their children.
Do these men forgive their mothers' for letting them get abused? One of the men said that forgiveness is not a line, but a road you take. He is on that road.
Will we, should we, forgive Michael?
I don’t forgive him. I don’t know if I forgive myself for loving his music.
nina