Daddy
There is a small shiver that goes through my spine when I see your hand slightly tremor as you hold the phone. I know you are getting old, in fact, aren’t just getting...you are walking slower. Your head hangs down a little lower. You do everything slower, even think. And I watch as you fumble from sitting to standing and calculate the odds that you will fall. Your white beard is still lush but your salt and pepper hair is starting to thin. So is your body. I see you lying on the white leather couch because you feel you may faint, I put the velvety maroon blanket on you. I watch your hand move slower and slower when holding a spoon full of food. Your favorite food is bananas, but you have trouble sometimes opening them without a knife. But know that you are still my rock, the one who has held me up all these years. You may not be strong enough to take the trash out anymore, but I know you are strong enough to get through this. You rode all the rollercoasters with me at the amusement park when I was eleven. You tried to teach me calculus when I was fifteen, and you understood that I didn’t understand how a number could be negative at the age of eight. You were sometimes the only reason I woke up in the morning when I was in my twenties. Because I knew you were waiting for me. You lost your eyesight decades ago, but you could always see me, maybe you are the only one who has really seen me. I will hold your hand as you navigate with your red and white blind man’s cane as we walk through the grocery store to get to the bank. I will tell you where to put your pen in order to sign the check. I know you may be gone sooner than I’m ready to let you go. You cry more than you used to, sometimes because of me. I didn’t become exactly what you envisioned, but you are the reason I became anything at all. I have been looking for a man as good as you my whole life. I’m not sure there is another one that exists. You're my favorite person. Photography was your favorite pastime before you went blind. I am taking this picture for you.
