Repetition
OK, I know I talk about this over and over and over again. But I don’t care, I’m gonna talk about it until the day I die. I have found the cure for my personal depression. I have found the answer to my personal happiness. Meditation.
Look, just like you all, a lot of times when I sit down to meditate I don’t want to do it. I really resist it a lot. I think because it theoretically feels like work. Even though it is the one time my mind is not working. Nowadays I put a timer on in case I fall asleep, which happens every now and then when I meditate. Sometimes when I’m trying to do it, I do fall asleep. Sometimes my mind wanders in all kinds of directions. Usually, completely useless mind chatter occurs.
I just want to let you all know that I am aware that it is not easy to meditate every day. And they say if you don’t have half an hour to spare a day for meditation, then you need to spend an hour a day meditating.
Sometimes when I am doing it, all I’m thinking about how much time I have left. But then there are many times when I feel this sense of complete peace and love. Also, there are times where I literally feel joy or bliss.
I cannot function as a human being anymore without doing meditation every single day.
I suffered from depression for many years. Most of my adult life off and on. Since regular meditation, I have not had any depression. Zero. I have a mental illness, Bipolar Disorder, and most of the symptoms are depression related. I have tried every goddamn medicine out there, every combination of meds, every cocktail they can think of.
Medicines help and I have to take them for the rest of my life, but they were never the cure. I have found the cure is in stopping my mind for an hour a day, and then being mindful for the rest of the day. But I think the meditation is far more than a mental exercise. It is connecting with your soul and the divine within yourself.
I have probably said all of this a million times and you may be tired of hearing it. I’m not sorry. I want to scream about it at the top of my lungs to the entire world. Most of America is on anti-depressants. And again, there is nothing wrong with medication and it may be necessary. But I’m telling you that meditation can only help you get to that place of peace and happiness.
I just saw a headline for an article that stated that India is the most depressed country in the world. That could be if we just look at numbers alone, India has more people than almost every other country.
I realize that there are economic and social conditions that also cause depression. There is a lot of poverty in India, and even in America actually. But I have never found more motivation to get to my professional goals than I have since my spiritual journey truly began.
I am literally a different person now. I floss every night and make my bed, there are no clothes on my bedroom floor. If you knew me, you’d know what a breakthrough that is for me. I was never organized, I just have never had my shit together. But I do now, and there are many reasons. But the first reason that inspired me to fix other parts of my life was my journey with meditation.
Almost every religion talks about doing some kind of meditation. Now I’m not usually a big fan of religion, but it was through my religion, Sikhi, that I truly learned how to meditate. To this day, I use the Sikh name for god: Waheguru, when I meditate. I repeat the name over and over and over again.
And that is why I’m repeating this same idea over and over and over again. Trust me, you do not have to believe in god or Jesus or Ram to meditate. You only have to believe in the beauty of stillness and love.
It has made me love life to an extent that I cannot articulate. It has made me not focus on the sad or the horrid parts of life. It has made me love better and deeper. It has made me love myself for real for the first time.
I want to do things like garden, I think I might even take up sewing. I want to be active and live life in a way that I have never wanted to before. There is a spirit in me that people have been commenting on and noticing. I am happy. Finally.
I hate to preach, but whatever. Somethings are worth preaching about I guess. Meditation is the single act that has led me on the right path in life professionally and personally.
So that’s it. I’m sure I’ll tell you all of this again. And again. And again.
nina