Notes About Life...
OK, I may or may not roll out of bed and get my nails done, sometimes looking slightly like a homeless person. I usually wear clothes that are too big for me because I’ve lost weight and I don’t want to spend money on new clothes for lounging around in. So today I got to the nail salon and the woman who usually does my nails is like, “Wow you look good with make-up on!”
What that really means is I look pretty scary without it on. I was also wearing a nice dress because I came from a graduation party. A friend of mine asked me why I wear make-up every day. Because I look slightly let’s use this word cautiously, I look a little ugly without make-up on.
Let’s be real.
Then the nail tech asked me a strange question, “Do you do your own make-up?” No, I have a live-in makeup artist, because I’m actually secretly a movie star that likes to walk around incognito in oversized clothes that don’t match. But she did ask me if my eyelashes were real, I was very flattered. I highly recommend Better Than Sex mascara by Too Faced. Yes, that’s the name. And no, it’s not better.
On another note, I’m thinking of calling my hilarious rant about my mother whose name is Rana, “The Rana Monologues.” I’m thinking of patenting it. My friend said it should be a show about mothers from all ethnic backgrounds. I should collaborate with Lily Singh who does a fabulous imitation of a Punjabi mom.
Let’s face it, my mom is not really Punjabi, she was born in Delhi and lived all around India her entire life. My parents speak Hindi to each other and only speak in Punjabi when they are fighting. I personally am not sure what the difference between Hindi and Punjabi is.
I did, however, buy three months of an app called Rosetta Stone in order to learn Hindi. Ask me how much I have used it. You know the answer to that question. I was thinking I could learn how to write ghazals, that’s my goal. I have lots of goals though and at the moment I don’t feel like fulfilling any of them.
I must tell you though, for those of you who have been following my blog for a while might remember a post I once did about a slimmer. Another Slimmer Story I use the word 'slimmer' for a thing you put on to push in your stomach. Like a girdle. Well, I’m back to wearing slimmers again. I first got one that made me throw up every time I wore it. Apparently, that was a little too tight. I mean I did get it at the grocery store. I finally bought a really good one from Shapermint on Amazon. It’s amazing and comfortable. I only wear it when wearing dresses because that’s when my stomach sticks out the most.
Of course, I have my mother to remind me when my stomach is sticking out. When I started losing weight, she was like, “Wow, you had three chins, now you only have two.” You can’t make this stuff up. Once, I was walking out of the door to work and I was wearing these capris, and I’ll admit my stomach was sticking out a bit.
But I’m not a skinny individual. I have a stomach. And sometimes you can actually see it. She asked me to change my pants. I said no and she was just like, well I’m just telling you some clothes show the belly more than others. I’m just telling you.
Love her.
I mean I actually do, I mean who would I make jokes about at parties if I didn’t have good old Mama? I may have mentioned this before, she once asked me when I was 25, “Do you drink hard liquor?” I was like we should have had this conversation when I was 16. “Yes,” I said in a whisper. “You shouldn’t drink hard liquor, no boy will ever marry you if you drink hard liquor. Wine, shine, is fine.” That must be the reason I’m still single.
Well, the truth is I have not drunk any wine or other alcohol since my bariatric surgery. The doctors tell you to never drink again. No one follows that. But I’m considering never drinking again. But it’s not for health reasons. It is for spiritual reasons. The whole point of spirituality is to become more aware. Alcohol dims your awareness, it’s a way out of reality.
I don’t know, I’m not married to this idea and I’m not committing to anything either way. My parents had a celebration when I told them I may never drink again. They almost brought out the champagne. Actually, my parents really don’t drink much.
I am not a big drinker ordinarily myself. I was really flattered the other day when I was at my friend’s house playing cards and his roommate looked at me singing along to the music and dancing in my seat and she said, “I want to be on what’s she’s on. And I know it’s not that vitamin water!”
“I’m naturally high,” I said. And my friend was like, “She actually is.”
I took that as a serious compliment. And it’s true, I am high on life. I’m happy and I don’t need liquor, especially hard liquor, to have a good time. People say I’m funny when I’m drunk, they also say that about me when I’m sober. So what’s the point anyways? And alcohol makes you fat. I don’t need any extra help being fat.
For the time being, I have not had a drink in over nine months. I don’t really miss it. I honestly just don’t want men to think I’m a nun or a prude when I go out with them and don’t drink. I’m fine with it at parties, it’s more about intimate relationships. Some people need to drink. But I don’t know that I want to be with someone who needs me to drink.
And anyways, who cares what dudes think? When was the last time I gave a shit what a guy thought about me? I’m fun with or without alcohol. I have considered occasionally smoking pot. I mean it’s legal now too, so fuck it.
But I don’t need to do anything. I need to just be me.
This is what happiness looks like.
nina