Why Are You Reading This?
Recently I’ve been getting almost 1,200 views a day on my blog. I don’t know if that is considered good and by what scale I should measure that. I suspect my numbers are growing because of the quarantine crowd. And I understand if you are so bored that you are forced to read this blog. I understand that there is little to do so even the rantings of some random woman are something you have suddenly become interested in.
I do wonder sometimes, what draws people to read this. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to read this. I ramble, I repeat myself, I speak esoterically about mundane everyday things. I like to say everything is sort of spiritual.
I often ignore politics in favor of discussing the self. I am in fact obsessed with self-reflection. This entire piece you are reading right now is sort of that.
I’m here to share my truth and help you discover your own. I don’t need you to agree with me on anything. I don’t need you to like me. I like when you do both those things, but I don’t need it. Instead, I need to know I made you think about something. Maybe in a new way. I want to see that I have made you feel something, experience something.
I wonder why we read in the first place. I read to see another perspective. I want to see the world through someone else’s eyes. Through this lens, I have lived other people’s lives. I’ve also discovered more about myself.
Why do you read?
Are you reading this to see what life is like from my point of view? Are you curious about what it is like to be someone like me? Do you ever wonder why you are interested in a complete stranger? Is it perhaps because we are not really strangers.
Is it maybe because we are more similar than we are different? Could it be that we share something intrinsic, some understanding of existence that is eternal? Is it possible that we are not the same, but that we have the ability to understand each other?
I read somewhere that people who read are more empathetic. Empathy and compassion come naturally when you can see yourself in another. Maybe you didn’t come here to this page, but I came there, to you. To see how you would see my story.
I can hear your voice, in this very sentence, asking me what I mean. Telling me what you think I mean. Giving all of this meaning.
Maybe it wasn’t just a random occurrence that we should meet like this. Perhaps there is a meaning behind the reason that we are both on this page at this time. Maybe there is a reason you are reading these words right now. Maybe I needed you to read them. Perhaps this is bigger than both of us.
I have come to you to show you a part of myself. I came here to show you a part of yourself. And maybe these two parts share something. Perhaps that thing is something we cannot name because it is not easily understood. Perhaps we share an understanding. Perhaps we know each other on a level we cannot even comprehend.
Maybe we humans, or all sentient beings, share something beautiful in our very selves. Perhaps we like to hear each other’s stories because they help us to appreciate our own story. When you read this, you are in fact giving me a part of yourself just as much as I am sharing a part of myself. You are giving me your attention for a moment and I honor that. I appreciate that. You have no idea how happy I am that you do this.
I want to show you my world. I want to give you a glimpse into my reality.
So that when you go back to your own you see it in a new light, notice it’s dimensions, and see that we are connected. That my story could in fact not exist without yours. Without your existence, who would I tell this story to? Without you why would it even matter that I have something to say?
We need each other more than we realize. If everything is relative, I cannot know myself or even be myself unless I see that there is another.
I see you. Even as you read this, you are revealing a part of yourself to me. We are sharing this moment in some sort of delayed release of time. Because time is just a mental construction. As I am writing this, you are reading this, it is all happening in the same moment. And at this moment our selves have merged and we are both thinking the same thing.
We are both thinking about these words that I am writing. Isn’t that interesting?
I would even go as far as to say that you helped me create this. Because if it were not for you, where would I reflect all these thoughts? Where do thoughts that are not shared go?
I understand why you would want to read someone’s thoughts about this difficult time our world is facing. You want to see how someone else is going through this. I am living through this, with you. We are in this together, you and I. We are in this together in this life and on this page.
Don’t think your role as the reader is passive. In fact, you are acting upon this text with your own thoughts and each one of you creates a different experience of what is written here. This is not just one page, but thousands of different pages that are reflected in your unique selves.
So don’t think that you may know me better than I know you. I know you. You must be the kind of person I would like to get to know.
nina