Bad Words

I think maybe the naysayers or on to something. It is possible the world is coming to an end. I’ll tell you why I suspect this. First of all yes, for obvious reasons. If I’m not shot at the mall, or while teaching at my college, I will be shot by police for looking like a Muslim. Secondly, another obvious reason being Donald Trump’s existence. Third though, you don’t know about this, but I said a very disgraceful word in front of my parents. I can’t even write it down I’m so embarrassed. I used the word mother--- to describe a relative of mine. Let’s just say that did not go over that well. I walked away after saying it and have yet to learn the consequences. I feel I was justified in saying such a word for such a person. However, you know is it ever OK to spit out obscene words around your parents? I don’t use ‘dirty’ language in front of my parents, not even about Donald Trump who they might agree deserves it. I don’t know, I lost control. I mean it was as if I acted like Donald Trump and didn’t think before I spoke and just said whatever crap was on my mind. Oh my god, we are all sucispetible to this disease of the mouth. Maybe the more we watch him the more we internalize his behavior and perhaps even mimic him. What is happening to me? What is happening to us? Have we lost all sense of civility to let a mad man possibly take over the world? Are we maybe mad ourselves to create such a monster? Does he in fact represent us in this way we cannot deny? Oh no, people. We got problems. The problem really is that we are losing our humanity. We do use words such as I did to describe people in our own families. I am constantly grading essays and tell the kids they need to work on their word choice. What about my word choice? What am I saying? What am I doing? This election is dirty, no doubt. The dirt being flung on each side is unspeakable. There were naked statues of Donald Trump put up around the country. What do you tell your kids about stuff like that? How do we tell kids to act like respectable humans, when the leaders of this country are losing their minds. Trump has called women pigs, dogs etc. People on the other side have called him even dirtier names. Are we on a playground? What is this name-calling business about anyways? Tit for tat. He’s a bully and says whatever disgusting thoughts come to his mind about his opponent. The other side will use just as horrible language to describe him.When is this going to end? I hold debates in my argumentative writing class. I tell the kids they cannot be disrespectful to one another and they cannot get personal. Those are the rules of debate in my world, but not in the world at large. While watching this recent political debate, it occurred to me that we have hit a new low in this country. We are not debating issues, we are fighting. This is a schoolyard fight and I want to tell on someone to my parents. Remember kids are watching this behavior. They are watching us swear at the television. They are watching us hate. I will admit it, I hate Donald Trump. That is not right, to hate another human being. I want to stop hating, hating this election, hating the people who support him. Half of the people in this country support him, how can I hate that many people? This is not a good side of me. I don’t think these are my true colors. I don’t think that this election represents our truth. The truth of this country. My truth. This is country is supposed to be about freedom, freedom to have your own opinion. However now we have created this great divide of the left from the right. We don’t like each other very much, we are mean to one another. This country is about diversity, and that means diversity of thought. We are acting no better than our enemies like ISIS. ISIS is based on hate, they teach hate in schools and training camps. How far from this are we if we hate Republicans or Democrats and teach our children there is only one right way to think? Our way. I grade papers on controversial topics. The students must write a paper about an opinion on a issue that has two sides. I have to look at all essays objectively regardless of whether I agree with them or not. I judge them on the basis of their evidence, reasons and logic. What if we all did this when seeing our opposing political parties. I think we all want the same thing, both sides. I think we want to stop the hate. I think we want peace. Maybe it starts in our own homes. I used an unacceptable word to describe another human being in my family because I was very angry and hurt. I don’t think slinging dirty words around is going to get make me any happier in this life. I have called Donald Trump every name in the book in my head. That’s not going to make this situation any better. So what, I don’t like him. However he may be the person I have to bow down to in a couple months. I may have to come up with a new feeling other than hate for him. Because hate only breeds hate. He is not worth all this negative energy in my head. As my mother would say using dirty language to describe others only hurts me. I’m tired of hurting myself. nina