Blue Jean Baby

 I got a pair of blue jeans that don't fitand a silk blouse without a buttonmy sweater is unravelingI'm made of skin, underneath this cotton I got weeks to go before I start livingand a hell of a long Uber ride to realityI'm taking a shortcut to the shoreand sitting by the pigeons as they eatI'm not dead, this is not my doorI'm knocking on someone else's tree what's wrong with youor maybe I should ask what's rightare you in this car for truthor do you want to walk to the light I can't walk straight in this slippery roomI make coffee without a machine or a spoonI am here, I am thereI am not your microwaved waterI'm your Cancer causing sunI'm not just the weatherI'm serious, I could end it allI'm the one let's have a conversationthat doesn't involve wordslet's fly to godor at least talk to the birds don't walk away so fastI don't make sense in the morningI have ripped up paper in my pocketsmaybe there is a note for youtelling you to stop talking there should be a point to everythingthere should be a theme songwe all live in a sitcom about someone else's lifea commercial for everything that's wrong I talk out loud when I'm happyand die every day a littleI have a phone without a numberin a room with no address google my map and you won't find meI'm hidden in the places they don't documentthe paintings they don't drawthe words they have yet to pronounce I'm waiting for you to text me a cigarettewhile I search for your diseasethey say you could die as a side effectyou could also make a liar out of me I don't know anything I wasn't taughtI've never had a thought about what's notI haven't ever said anything realyour name is not my name, and I'm not sitting here it just seems as though I'm in the roombut I'm so far awaythe cards on the table don't moveI make a gesture to show you I'm bluffingthis is not my life, I'm not really saying anythingrisking nothing as if this was a courtroomand we could lie to each otheruntil we fall to our kneesyou made a case for survivalI came into this room with no door, for peace I want to dance in denimbut my jeans feel too tightthe colors of my clothes don't matchthere are no answers, let's get this right nina