Child's Play
I often see former students of mine around town all the time. Last Thanksgiving the valet at the restaurant we had lunch at was a former student of mine and so was one of our waiters. I have to tell you I feel like a celebrity when this happens. It makes me feel important. It makes me feel as though I was influential in their lives for a hot minute.After the first college class I taught, a student of mine wrote me an email saying it was the best English class he's ever had because he learned so much about different viewpoints and issues in the debates that we had. I'm not trying to brag, but I am.I like to think that I'm an inspiration to some of these kids, but I often get the feeling that they are more of an inspiration to me. For example, there is a fifteen-year-old guy who I tutor. He is this funny, smart kid who makes me laugh every time I see him. He doesn't enjoy the reading part of our lessons very much and we laugh about that and other things. He jokes with the other kids too and it ends up always being a good time.Kids can be a lot of fun. I must admit they can be annoying too. I teach a couple five-year-olds who are still having trouble figuring out the difference between a letter and a number. I know I should be more patient and kind and try to help them learn. I have this one genius five-year-old who can write in complete sentences. I'm so in awe of her. She's my star.I enjoy creating relationships with these kids but I find one thing very interesting. Many of them are coming to my learning center in a foul mood. A lot of them don't seem happy. They are kids. Aren't they supposed to be happy?I don't know, were you a happy kid? Kids are supposed to be happy, but I'm not sure that they really are. I'm not going to lie, I was kind of a depressed child. I don't really blame my parents, I blame society actually. We, as a village are creating people who are all on anti-depressants.My parents claim they were happy when they were kids. And they say that all they did was play and study. I remember that as well, but I also remember being insecure and afraid of life as a kid.Maybe it was T.V. Maybe it was just other kids, but I felt like I never fit in.I read this quote somewhere that if you can get through childhood you can get through anything. I thought it was supposed to be good. That children are supposed to be happy.
Think about it, if you didn't have to worry about money at all, or relationships, or going to a job, would you be happy? Now that I have to deal with all those things, if you took away the responsibilities I might be happy now. But if I never knew that this was what life was going to give me, I could definitely find a way to be unhappy without any big responsibilities.When I was a kid we used to pretend that we were adults all the time. It was a game. I remember pretending I was a doctor, and then my cousin and I would pretend we were single ladies with boyfriends living in a city. Now my cousin is an actual doctor and we have both lived in cities, with boyfriends.I'm not sure which was more fun, the pretending or the real thing. I wonder sometimes why it was so fun to pretend to be what I am now when it's not that fun to be who I am. Or should it be? Fun?Shouldn't I be happy because I know the difference between things, that I know what it's like to be unhappy? There are no 'shoulds' though, are there? We are what we are.Maybe in an ideal world kids 'should' be happy, but how do we create that ideal world? Kids watch adults. If adults are not happy, kids will pretend they are like adults. It's no wonder I see so many kids that look like they are not having a good day.I work in a particularly affluent and educated neighborhood too. I wonder what kids are like in other areas where they don't have that kind of financial security or abundance. I just got another job where I will be working with kids from rougher neighborhoods. I wonder if they will be more or less happy.I wonder if I will be more or less happy with them.nina