You Can Create How You Feel
Do you ever feel like you are waiting for a train with your emotions, they will take you somewhere, except it's a trip where you don't know where you will go. What if you could purchase a ticket ahead of time on the emotional train?I'm feeling really good today. I don't know why some days I get out of bed and it's a great day. Some days I have so much trouble getting out of bed because it's not such a good day. What makes the difference? Is it nature? Is it nurture? What creates 'mood' so to speak. Is it a brain reaction or are things in life creating this feeling?Maybe it's both. I want to control both things, nature, and nurture. I want to feel this good always. How do you control your brain? Your life?Is there a way to control these things? I'm tired of just living at the whims of my mood. I want it to always be positive. Maybe no matter what I 'naturally' feel I should be able to make my thoughts positive so I can make my feelings good. I want to run this show. Maybe I can.I mean it's hard to leave how you feel to the whims of the universe, it is not always kind. Fate is not always on our side it seems. Bad shit happens, regularly. I don't need to tell you that. You know. If it's not one thing, it's another. So how do we break this cycle of doom?I think it just takes work, mind work. We have to be aware of what we are thinking about. And why are we not just living in the moment instead of drudging up the horrible past, or our fears about the future? We need to be what we ideally want to be, which is happy, isn't it?I want to kick all bad thoughts out of my mind. They don't really belong there. It's a difficult practice to do, destroying all the negativity that is built in us. This is different than denying. Accept what it is, just don't focus on the bad part of it There's this thing in psychology called radical acceptance. It is just what it sounds like, it's accepting everything, even the horrible things that have happened in life. Just accepting it and moving on.It's the moving on part where I get stuck. I get stuck in the middle of my acceptance, I want to scream, this should not have happened. And maybe it's true that many things probably should not have happened, but accepting that they did can create a certain peace. Moving on from there can create joy once again.I have been exploring why I am addicted to food. There have been certain traumas in my past that I need to just accept happened. I don't want to allow something that happened to me twenty, or thirty years ago control how I feel. There is nothing but the present. Right now.
I often ask myself this question: Is everything OK right now? The answer is usually yes. Everything is usually pretty OK at the moment, we are mostly upset about what happened in the past or what will happen in the future. Little things annoy us and bigger things plague us. But most of them are not happening right now.I am OK, you are OK, right now. Everything will be alright because it is alright.Life is not what happens to us, but how we react and experience what happens to us. Terrible things happen on a regular basis to many people, however, the only way to escape the pain of that is to literally change our minds about what we think and then eventually feel. Thoughts create feelings, we have control over our thoughts. That means we have control over our feelings.I don't want to leave my emotions to the whims of what will happen, because even in a single day, so many topsy-turvy things can occur to throw me off my game. Right at this moment, I could worry about the car accident I got into a while ago that I haven't still reported to my insurance company, I worry about the stuff I ordered at Sam's Club online and never picked up from the store.But in actuality, I'm sitting here with a good friend at Starbucks sipping hot chocolate, and writing my heart away. Everything is good at this moment.How's this moment going for you? Is everything OK right now? I hope it is. It will be.nina