What Do I Love?
Why do we read poetry, look at art, and listen to music? Because it gives us something to live for. It gives us something to love. Do you wonder what you are living for? I do. I know I’m not just living or art. But what exactly am I living for? What do I love?
I like to think I’m living for love, but who do I even love? I love my family but I don’t have a significant other or any kids. Right at this moment, that is making me sad. Sure I love the rest of my family, but it just seems like there is not that much of my own to love.
I love my friends, I have very good close friends that I spend a lot of time with. Somehow when I break it down like this, it doesn’t seem like enough. I don’t necessarily want a kid, but I do want a significant other. But I guess it calms me to know that I still have time. I mean all we have is time, right?
I love writing. I really do, as much I as I love to put it off and procrastinate, it drives me, it is one of my biggest passions. I also love teaching. I love engaging with students, having discussions, debates and making them question everything.
I know this sounds stupid, but I love shopping. Probably too much. In particular, I like shopping for clothes. It’s a very expensive love of mine. But I do love it. I even love buying old delicate china from thrift stores.
I also love reading, anything, fiction, non-fiction, poetry. I can read for hours and days and lives. I feel like I live other people’s lives through their stories. I also love T.V. and movies for this reason. I love stories, I like other people’s and telling my own.
I do love life also, just plain and simply, I love that I exist. Even in this strange world.
Sometimes I love silence. I just love to be. Sometimes I like it all noisy and talkative with people all over the place. I love music as well.
I’m not sure what I love the most, or if there is such a thing. Maybe I just love it all.
I don’t know how to say this without sounding like some kind of nut, but I love god. I love god because I think I am, we are all, a part of god. I love god because I believe god is love. I love spirituality and meditation as well.
Let me tell you something a little weird, I love you. I don’t know you, but you, all of you, represent humanity to me. I love people. I guess I love the world. I know, I know, cheesy.
But it’s true.
And last but not least, I love myself.
I am trying to really cultivate a true love for myself because I know I can never truly love another person until I love myself.
I feel like there is a lot to love inside me, however, I often forget. I forget to love myself. I forget I’m worthy of love. I forget I’m lovable. But deep inside me, I know it’s true.
I fact I know that I am love. Nothing but love. I believe we all are. I think love is the ultimate feeling. The ultimate in existence that we are all striving for.
Love each other.
nina