I Love Myself
What does it mean to love yourself? I can say that I truly love other people and life itself, but it is really hard for me to be sure if I truly love myself. I can say for sure that I like myself, I like who I am. But love is another dimension altogether. How do you love yourself?
Sometimes I still think of myself as that weird girl in middle school or high school. I still feel like I don’t fit in. But if I start to think of myself in the eyes of my friends or family I can see that I’m a lovable person. There are actual people who love me, but I’m just not sure if I’m one of them.
In the eighties there was this book called, “I’m Okay, You’re Okay.” I never read it but I really liked the title. What it essentially means is that we are all okay. Sometimes we don’t need to think of ourselves as anything more than okay.
When it comes down to it, I find that many people do not think very highly of themselves. We all have an ego, but usually, that ego is covering up our deep-seated insecurities. Sometimes the people that seem the most egotistical are the most insecure.
When we truly love ourselves, we don’t have to boast about ourselves because we are not trying to prove anything to anyone. But how do we actually start to love ourselves? Someone once told me to do a gratitude journal about myself. Write down all the things I appreciate about myself.
I never did it, but I’m thinking about doing it now. I think I have qualities that I would appreciate if given the opportunity. Gratitude is one of the fastest ways to be happy in life, so I assume doing gratitude work about yourself can only bring good feelings.
It’s funny when I think about what I appreciate about myself, it makes me want to be a better person. I appreciate my kindness but it thinking about it makes me want to be kinder. I appreciate my humor and having gratitude about it makes me want to laugh more. It is a very interesting process, this journey to self-love.
Self-talk is another thing that can help a person love themselves more. What am I saying to myself all day? Why don’t I talk to myself like I would talk to a good friend or even my best friend? If I were my own best friend I would say that I’m a good person, a person who brings light to the world.
When I was a little girl my mom would take me grocery shopping and I would start saying hi and smiling at all these women, I would have friends that I made while she was busy shopping. I was such a happy kid. I literally brought light into people’s lives. There is a part of me that thinks I never stopped doing that, but I just don’t notice it now.
I feel like if I truly think about it there is a lot to love inside of me, however, most of the time I’m picking out my flaws. It is in our evolutionary nature to notice problems before we notice good things. We are genetically programmed that way in order to be better and be safe.
The problem with that is we don’t recognize our assets and accomplishments. Like this morning, I felt guilty because I make chai for my parents every day and today I didn’t really feel like doing it and it annoyed me. I thought I must be a bad person to not want to do something for someone else. But I didn’t stop to think that I have been doing this every day for months now without any complaint.
I also love to give of myself very openly. I guess what that means is that I put my heart and soul into my relationships with people. I know many of you do the same. That is a wonderful habit that I have and I feel it makes me closer to other people. I don’t remember the last time I appreciated that about myself.
I don’t remember the last time I really appreciated much about myself. I think it’s time for me to begin gratitude work about myself. When I look in the mirror I don’t think about what a beautiful person I am, I think about how fat my thighs are.
But the truth is no one but me cares about the size of my thighs. I am always amazed when I watch shows like the 600-pound life, where they document people who weigh 600 pounds or more. A lot of times these people have a significant other, someone who loves them despite their weight.
People love people despite their weight or any other superficial concerns. People in my life and yours, love us for who we really are. There are things to love about everyone, even Hitler had a mistress. I don’t know if that’s the greatest example, but just saying.
It’s important to think about our qualities. It’s important to talk to ourselves as if we are own friend. And finally, it is important to love ourselves. Love should begin and end with ourselves. I don’t believe in the notion that if you don’t love yourself you can’t truly love another person, because I think we naturally love other people a lot easier than we love ourselves.
But if we want our love for other people to be healthy and powerful and transforming, it all starts with loving ourselves. I fear this sounds rather preachy. I apologize for that. It’s a little cheesy too, but the truth is not really that interesting. It’s just the truth.
My truth is love.
How about you?
nina