EVERYTHING IS HAPPY

It;s not good to be crazy and poor, it is good to be rich and crazy. I am not rich…yet. When I am I will be the same person I am now. How will I manage that? I was born crazy, people. Rich or poor, black or white crazy has no preference. Either does god by the way.

So the thing is I’m happy even though I’m poor and crazy. Isn’t that funny? Isn’t that interesting? I’m no longer manic, I’m what they call hypomanic, I have a lot of crazy energy. It’s tiring and exhausting, it will fade away and I’ll be normal soon. What is normal though? Do I want to be normal?

Yeah in the mental illness sense, yes I want to be normal. In the sense of eternity, I want to be abnormal. Let me explain myself.

I don’t even know if I need to explain that. If you get it you get it, if you don’t you don’t.

I’m tired of explaining myself to people. Yes I am crazy and yes it is a good thing. That does not mean you want to have Manic Depression or Bipolar Disorder or Schizophrenia or Multiple Personality Disorder or Major Depressive Disorder. These are all terrible diseases. But what it does mean is that you want to be free, if that makes any sense. REaallly FREEEe! When you experience crazy you realize how locked up your mind, body, and soul really are.

Are you free? What are you chained to? Your job? Your kids? Your appearance? Your money? All of the above? Maybe your status in the world. Look I don’t fully understand psychology and cannot tell you what an actual ego is. But all these things we are attached to are killing us. Our ego is killing us. I almost died of suicide because I was so attached to my father and he was dying.

That may sound like love, but it’s not. It’s attachment. It’s one of the sins in Sikhism. Look it up.

Ego, attachment, these things are going to kill us. We don’t think we are worthy of living according to Conversations with God. Let me say that again, we don’t think we are worthy of living. How did we get here? To this sad place of discontent?

I have no idea. But we are sad. That’s the truth. Very very very sad. And that is sad.

So cheer up! Things are looking up.

Cheers!

nina