Spring is Here!

I have Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD), which literally makes me sad during the winter months. It’s spring finally! Yaaay! There’s more light. I can breathe in the spring air!

Air is such an intriguing and silly thing isn’t it. It is the most important thing that we need on this planet, yet it is polluted and is probably making us sick as well. Air is the space between us, it’s invisible, yet it is vital. 

I feel like all the things that are important to us are invisible. Like love. It doesn’t have a color. The things that mean the most to us are concepts. Like happiness. 

What is happiness? Sometimes I wonder if happiness is something you just make up in your mind. It kind of is that. I mean it’s real, on some level, and it’s just as imaginary. If you imagine that you are happy, aren’t you happy? It’s something you sort of think up, isn’t it?

Can a person think their way to happiness? I wonder if that’s the way it works. If happiness is just a state of mind, can’t I make that happen? 

I think I can. Nothing in my circumstances has to change, I just change on the inside. This is what we are chasing after, isn’t it? The happy state of mind.

So how do I imagine such a thing as happiness? I think I just conjure it up out of nothing. Can it really be that easy? I think it can. 

Despite the season, I can be happy if I just create that feeling in my mind. The mind is a mysterious thing, I wonder if I really have any control over it. I like to think I do. But my heart, where I feel things, can I control that? Can I control the way I feel, can I direct my feelings in a certain direction?

Well yes, because I think that feelings first come from a thought. The thought might be so swift it’s fleeting, but there is a thought that creates the feeling. If I think really quickly about all that is wrong with my life and think poor me, that is a fleeting thought that creates sadness. But if I turn that around and am grateful for what I have, all of a sudden I’ve created happiness. 

I know it’s not actually as easy as that sounds but then again, it kind of is. They say that gratitude can rewire your brain to be happy. That’s all we really want, more than a million dollars, we want a million good feelings. We know this because millionaires are not happy. 

But happiness seems so elusive like it just happens to you. But what if it fact can be created by you? But how?

I think it’s just a decision. I say to myself, I am happy. Then I usher all the negative thoughts away that are saying, there is no way in hell you are happy you fool. Then I focus on what’s good in my life, of which surprisingly if I think about it, there is a lot of good in my life. 

And then wham, I’m happy. I’ll be honest this is the first time I’m trying this for real. I am feeling the beginnings of happiness just as I write this. Also I feel a bit more control over my feelings, which I always assumed controlled me. I want to be in charge of how I feel. I think I can take that control. 

I’ll let you know how it goes…you let me know how it goes for you…

nina