India Finally Decriminalizes Homosexuality!

Halleluia! It's done! I just told my American lesbian friend that India legalized homosexuality! She corrected me and said they 'decriminalized' it. Apparently, the nuances of language make a difference. I've heard that India has the largest homosexual population in the world, which makes sense since they are pretty much the most populated country in the world. But let's remember that this is just the beginning of social change. Until the hearts and minds of people change there will be no real change.I went to my white lesbian friend's wedding to another woman a couple of years ago. I told my parents, who are Indian, the truth about it, for some ungodly reason. My dad sat me down on the living room couch and asked in all seriousness, "So on a scale of zero to one-hundred, how gay are you?" I laugh now when I think about it. But I was scared when he asked me that, scared of his wrath. "I'm not going to answer that," I said.  He thought for a moment, "Why? Do you have something to hide?""Zero," I said. "Zero."He looked like he was not completely convinced and said to me, "We become like the company we keep." I was upset, upset on so many levels. This old man, my old man, was ostracizing me for being friends with gay people. All I could muster to say to him was, "You are so backwards." He was the one who said there should be marriage equality for gays in America because he said they are not hurting anyone. But when it came to his own daughter, this was how he reacted.I wasn't lying when I said zero. The truth is I think it might be easier to be with a woman than a man, but I'm just not built that way.That's how I know it's innate, biological. Because something I cannot name pulls me towards men, even though I have more harsh judgments about men then I do about women. I have quite a few homosexual friends. I think I gravitate towards people who live on the edges of what is considered normal. People who are forced to think outside the box because they live outside the box.The box sucks. Fuck the box.I talked to my dad the other day about Transgender people because there is a tradition of them being horribly subjugated in India. I explained to him that it was just like homosexuality, he said, "But homosexuality is a biological deformity." "It's not a deformity Dad! They are not deformed!" I tried to explain to him the difference between having a different biological preference and a deformity.I also tried to explain to him how transgender people have this feeling that they are not the gender they were born into biologically. I don't know if he totally got it, but he was listening and that is I guess all I can expect out of this 75-year-old man from India. Should we expect more from the people we love? How do we deal with discrimination in our own family?I thought about how doctors used to think being gay was a mental illness. It is not an illness of any kind. It's a thing, it's just a thing. An orientation. People are not choosing to be gay, and if there is a small percentage who are choosing it, what exactly is wrong with that?The one thing that god gave us all is free will. Who are we to interfere with someone's free will?I wonder sometimes why I so admire and love queer men and women. I think it is because they have all, every single one of them, experienced discrimination no matter what country they are in. This makes them better people, I think. I can't imagine what it is like in a country like India. For all India's greatness, it is still very conservative.But homosexuals are people, just like everyone else. As my close lesbian friend put it, "Most gay people annoy the hell out of me."So there you have it, gay people are just like everybody, they are flawed and beautiful in their own way. Stereotypes abound about queer folks, people think lesbians are mean and gay men are weak. In my experience, I have met the kindest and most loving lesbians and the most intelligent and strong gay men. The opposite is true I'm sure as well.I used to be a what is notoriously named a 'fag hag': a woman who hangs out with a lot of homosexual men. They really are fabulous. Now I tend to gravitate more towards close friendships with lesbian women. They are also amazing. I also have a lot of straight friends, don't get me wrong. But the point is, it really doesn't matter to me. Nothing about someone's sexual orientation or gender identity matters to me and should matter to anyone. And just to relieve any misconceptions or anxieties, my lesbian friends do not want to go to bed with me any more than my straight male friends do. Sadly, no one wants to sleep with me.We got enough problems on this earth than to hate people for stupid reasons. Hating someone because of their sexual orientation, besides being horrid and inhumane, is just stupid.That's all it is.Don't you have better things to do with your time?nina