The Patient Sikh: Part Sixteen--The Car
This an excerpt from a novel in progress and a work of fiction.
I'm wondering what we are doing here, just standing. It's a little cold and I wish Sonny would put his arms around me. "It's cold out here," I say. Then I regret it, because I don't want to go back in where everyone else is.
"Let's go to my car," he says and grabs my hand. Sonny is holding my hand and he wants to go into his car. What is even happening here? What is happening in the universe? Stars must be colliding at this point.
We are walking rather quickly and he is still holding my hand. We don't say anything. What is there to say anyway? I want to tell him that I have loved him since I met him, that we could be good together. I want to tell him I love the way he kisses.
Kiss me again, Sonny. We get into his small red Honda. He sits in the driver's seat. I'm not sure what is going to happen. If anything is going to happen at all. I want to ask him about his girlfriend. Is it over? Does he choose me over her?
Our breath slightly fogs up the mirror and he turns the car on for the heat. "Tell me something," he says.
"What do you want me to tell you?" I ask as I literally cannot think of anything that would be appropriate to say to him
"I don't always feel like I fit in, in this place," he says and puts his hand over his chin.
"Do you mean Michigan?" I ask.
"Yeah, I guess," he says and looks me in the eyes.
"I don't always feel like I fit in on Earth," I say and immediately regret it. Why am I so stupid? I can't even make simple conversation.
"I know what you mean," he says and starts playing with his lighter. You do? Really? We understand each other? I don't ever want to leave this car. Can we just stay here for the rest of our time on Earth?
"I feel like I can't talk to anyone sometimes," I say and watch his every move as if my life depends on it.
"You can talk to me," he says and smiles. Is this really happening? He is obviously flirting with me.
"I can," I say and blush. He looks me in the eyes again and moves his face closer to mine. He takes his hand and moves a piece of hair hanging on the side of my face. He kisses me again, this time it is more gentle and longer.
We start to make out and I feel like I've never felt before. Kissing him and having him put his arms around me feels like nothing I can explain. We have words, but kisses are so much better than words. I don't want to talk to him ever again, I just want to keep kissing him.
Afterwards he seems a little shy. As if all of a sudden he is exposed. I want to tell him everything, my whole life. I want to know everything about him, his whole life. "Do you think everyone is wondering where we are?" he asks.
"Who cares?" I say and smile.
"Yeah, you're right," he sighs, putting his hands on the steering wheel. "Wanna go for a drive?" he asks and puts his hand through his hair. He doesn't look at me as he's talking.
"Yeah, that sounds great," I say wondering if he thinks I'm a complete dork. I am a nerd, not cool, I want to tell him. This is the coolest thing I've ever done in my life. He doesn't put his seatbelt on and starts driving. I put mine on because I am a square. I consider asking him to put his belt on but decide against it.
If we die like this, that's OK, I think. I feel like I can fly right now. I feel like I want to take his hand and jump out the window and roll in the grass. I want to be someone I'm not. Someone who is free.
We drive through some old neighborhoods with beautiful old houses. I love these streets of Ann Arbor. I always dream of having a house with a porch I can sit on and watch the world go by. I imagine me and Sonny, getting old on a bench on the front porch of an old house with blue shutters.
He's driving too fast for these neighborhood streets but I am enjoying every moment of it. I feel like I'm finally alive.
nina
If you would like to read the beginning of this novel in progress, The Patient Sikh, visit the following links in chronological order:
The Patient Sikh: Part Two–The Wonder Years
The Patient Sikh: Part Three–Sonny
The Patient Sikh: Part Four–Song Lyrics
The Patient Sikh: Part Five–Your Song
The Patient Sikh: Part Six–Coffee Talk
The Patient Sikh: Part Seven--Chocolate Covered Love
The Patient Sikh: Part Eight--Kiss And Tell
The Patient Sikh: Part Nine--Street Chess
The Patient Sikh: Part Ten--Ravi
The Patient Sikh: Part Eleven--Understanding
The Patient Sikh: Part Twelve--Hey Jealousy
The Patient Sikh Part Thirteen--Me
The Patient Sikh: Part Fourteen--The Telephone