Happiness is Hard

So this is what I’ve noticed about life, everything is complex, including happiness. There are some days when everything is hard even if you are happy. This happened to me the other day and I didn’t understand it at first. I was confused, I thought things were going well. And they are, but I was just having a difficult day. I was in a mood and exhausted.

Like everything else in life, happiness is complicated. It’s full of misery, exhaustion, and irritability, in fact. Luckily I feel good now and it was just a day-long event of annoyance. But sometimes these bouts of stagnation stay longer. And that’s OK. 

Everything is OK when you realize we are in this for the long haul. If we want sustained happiness, it’s going to take work and be challenging and depressing sometimes. That’s the rollercoaster of life. I believe we signed up for this, for life, that our souls chose to come here and experience all of it. The agony and the ecstasy. The good, bad and ugly. Every emotion. 

That’s what I didn’t feel in my latest depression. I was numb because I was overmedicated. I couldn’t feel anything, joy or sadness. I couldn’t even cry. Luckily I could still laugh, that was my saving grace.  

Joy and Pain, isn’t there a song about that? Sunshine and rain…Every feeling can be put to music I feel. Music is one of the ways to joy for me. It’s also good for me when I am sad. It makes me happy. What makes you happy? Leave me a comment…

I’m serious, I could learn from you. Happiness is a habit. Good habits create happiness. I’m weird though, I like to listen to sad songs when I’m happy. One of my best friends says that some of the songs on my playlist are songs she thought about killing herself to when she was a teenager. So there’s that.

To each their own. Happiness is weird, it doesn’t make sense, like the rest of life. There is often no pattern but there is a way to notice it. Notice when you are happy. It’s important. Recognize when you feel good and celebrate it. 

Not just because life is short, I believe we have more than one life, but because life is precious. Love it, love others, and love yourself. I think that may be the secret to happiness. What do I know I’ve been in and out of depression my whole life. I may not be the one to go to for advice about happiness. 

However, maybe since I’ve seen the dark side up close, I know something about what the other side looks like. Just a thought. Take it with a grain of salt. 

Either way, one of my favorite songs is, “If it makes you happy, why the hell are you so sad?” by Sheryl Crow. So if you are happy or sad, or just somewhere in between realize that the complexity of life will always be there but that is part of the beauty. 

nina